Post by brigantine on Apr 9, 2006 19:06:47 GMT -5
It is funnier if you know what the "real" definitions of these terms are. But, that being said, here is a humorous glossary of common sailing terms...
[/li][li]Jack Lines - `Hey baby, want to go sailing?'
[/li][li]Jibe - either you like it or you don't and it gets you.
[/li][li]Keel - term used by 1st mate after too much heel by skipper.
[/li][li]Ketch - A sailboat with good wine in the cabin
[/li][li]Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.
[/li][li]Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.
[/li][li]Log - Semi submerged object responsible for suddenly rousing the skipper on a night passage.
[/li][li]Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.
[/li][li]Mate - the term used to refer to the skipper just before explaining that the hand bearing compass has fallen overboard
[/li][li]Mizzen - an object you can't find.
[/li][li]Motor Sailer - A sailboat that alternates between sail/rigging problems and engine problems, and with some booze in the cabin.
[/li][li]Noserly - What to call the wind direction when it comes from where you're going
[/li][li]Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.
[/li][li]Rhumb Line - two or more crew members waiting for a drink.
[/li][li]Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going no where slowly at great expense.
[/li][li]Schooner - A sailboat with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the cabin
[/li][li]Sea coc* - (see Jack Lines)
[/li][li]Sheet - cool, damp, salty night covering.
[/li][li]Shroud - equipment used in connection with a wake.
[/li][li]Spreaders - Barclay Card and Visa - useful for extending the sailing season.
[/li][li] Starboard - special board used by skippers for navigation (usually with "Port" on the opposite side.)
[/li][li] Stays - position in harbour when gales are forecast.
[/li][li] Stowaway - rapid handling of alcoholic spirits as the customs boat approaches.
[/li][li] Swell - a wave that's just great.
[/li][li] Square Rigger - a rigger over 30.
[/li][li] Sloop - A sailboat with beer and/or wine in the cabin.
[/li][li] Tack - A maneuver the skipper uses when telling the crew what they did wrong without getting them mad.
[/li][li] Tree - object to sit under, as a cure for seasickness.
[/li][li] Wind Indicator - Sensitive person who suddenly throws open the vents and hatches.
[/li][li] Warp - The other skipper's version of events.
[/li][li] Yawl - A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin
[/li][li] Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.
[/li][/ul]
My personal Favorite is Deck Fluff.
EXPLANATION OF SOME COMMON SAILING TERMS
- Amidships - condition of being surrounded by boats.
- Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
- Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.
- Back Stay - Spending time at home. When your partner goes sailing in October.
- Bare Boat - Clothing Optional.
- Beam Sea - A situation in which waves strike a boat from the side, causing it to roll unpleasantly. This is one of the four directions from which wave action tends to produce extreme physical discomfort. The other three are `bow sea' (waves striking from the front), `following sea' (waves striking from the rear), and `quarter sea' (waves striking from any other direction).
- Berth - a little addition to the crew.
- Bilge - cheap beer (see freeboard)
- Boat ownership - Standing fully -clothed under a cold shower, tearing up 100 -dollar bills
- Boom - sometimes the result of a surprise jibe.
- Boom - Called boom for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head on its way across the boat. For slow crew, it's called `boom, boom.'
- Bottom Paint - what you get when the cockpit seats are freshly painted.
- Calm - Sea condition characterized by the simultaneous disappearance of the wind and the last cold beverage.
- Chart - a type of map which tells you exactly where you are aground.
- Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might do next.
- Companionway - a double berth.
- Course - The direction in which a skipper wishes to steer his boat and from which the wind is blowing. Also, the language that results by not being able to.
- Cruising - Fixing your boat in exotic locations.
- Crew - Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to hold down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen sudden movements of the boom.
- Current - Tidal flow that carries a boat away from its desired destination, or towards a hazard
- Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.
- Deadrise - getting up to check the anchor at 0300.
- Deck Fluff - a scantily clad North American Big Hair, commonly placed on the foredeck of a sailing yacht with the sole purpose to distract the competition while rounding the mark inside their position.
- Deviation - any departure from the Captain's orders.
- Dinghy - the sound of the ship's bell.
- Displacement - when you dock your boat and can't find it later.
- Draft - The gap in your oilies between the trousers and the jacket.
- Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.
- First Mate - crew member necessary for skippers to practice shouting instructions to.
- Fix - the crew's estimate of your current position.
- Emergency Flares - old pair of trousers to change into if you fall overboard.
- Flashlight - Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal
- Fluke - The portion of an anchor that digs securely into the bottom, holding the boat in place; also, any occasion when this occurs on the first try.
- Foul Wind - breeze produced by flying turkey.
- Freeboard - food and liquor supplied by the owner.
- Gybe - A common way to get unruly guests off your boat.
- Headway - what you are making if you can't get the toilet to work.
- Head up - Leaving the boat toilet seat up. When boat skipper is female, leaving the head up is a serious offense
- Heads - the deciding factor whether to set out or not.
- Heave -Ho
[/li][li]Jack Lines - `Hey baby, want to go sailing?'
[/li][li]Jibe - either you like it or you don't and it gets you.
[/li][li]Keel - term used by 1st mate after too much heel by skipper.
[/li][li]Ketch - A sailboat with good wine in the cabin
[/li][li]Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.
[/li][li]Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.
[/li][li]Log - Semi submerged object responsible for suddenly rousing the skipper on a night passage.
[/li][li]Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.
[/li][li]Mate - the term used to refer to the skipper just before explaining that the hand bearing compass has fallen overboard
[/li][li]Mizzen - an object you can't find.
[/li][li]Motor Sailer - A sailboat that alternates between sail/rigging problems and engine problems, and with some booze in the cabin.
[/li][li]Noserly - What to call the wind direction when it comes from where you're going
[/li][li]Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.
[/li][li]Rhumb Line - two or more crew members waiting for a drink.
[/li][li]Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going no where slowly at great expense.
[/li][li]Schooner - A sailboat with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the cabin
[/li][li]Sea coc* - (see Jack Lines)
[/li][li]Sheet - cool, damp, salty night covering.
[/li][li]Shroud - equipment used in connection with a wake.
[/li][li]Spreaders - Barclay Card and Visa - useful for extending the sailing season.
[/li][li] Starboard - special board used by skippers for navigation (usually with "Port" on the opposite side.)
[/li][li] Stays - position in harbour when gales are forecast.
[/li][li] Stowaway - rapid handling of alcoholic spirits as the customs boat approaches.
[/li][li] Swell - a wave that's just great.
[/li][li] Square Rigger - a rigger over 30.
[/li][li] Sloop - A sailboat with beer and/or wine in the cabin.
[/li][li] Tack - A maneuver the skipper uses when telling the crew what they did wrong without getting them mad.
[/li][li] Tree - object to sit under, as a cure for seasickness.
[/li][li] Wind Indicator - Sensitive person who suddenly throws open the vents and hatches.
[/li][li] Warp - The other skipper's version of events.
[/li][li] Yawl - A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored down yonder in the cabin
[/li][li] Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze. Named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts.
[/li][/ul]
My personal Favorite is Deck Fluff.
